Q:  When should you refer those you are mentoring to pastoral & professional Christian counseling, or support resources such as the online counselors?

A:   When you feel the person has a lot more needs than you have the understanding to help them with.
For example, when you identify and recognize that someone is telling you about a crisis or mental health problem they are dealing with such as:
…..addictions, eating disorders, depression, loss, crises in which there is confusion, destabilization;
…..sexual issues, anger, stress, anxiety, serious relationship issues, incoherent communication or behavior, …..illegal behavior/acts, abuse, etc.

Remember: “In the multitude of counselors there is safety.”

 Video: Dealing with questions in chat

Ask yourself these questions when the symptoms or complaints are serious:
Which symptoms and how many symptoms is this person dealing with?
How serious are the symptoms?
How long has he/she been complaining about these problems?
Are the symptoms escalating?
Are the symptoms life-threatening?
Has he/she suggested desire to no longer live or threatened suicide?
How much disruption of his/her life is occurring due to the problem(s)?
What physical problems are occurring due to the emotional or relationship issues?
How much relationship dissatisfaction is he/she complaining about?
How much disruption of the relationship is occurring?
How much time do I spend talking/emailing this person and supporting him/her?

As a mentor you may not be able to answer the above questions. Any time you have a concern about someone’s welfare you should feel free to recommend professional counseling or ask an online couselor for recommendations.

Many times when you receive emails or questions from individuals they will be in crisis situations. Here is an overview of what a crisis is, what kinds of crises people encounter and how you can respond and refer these people to the appropriate resources.

What is a crisis? A situation, turning point or state occurring in a person’s life which destabilizes and interferes with their mental or physical health, relationships and/or functioning. There are different kinds of crises and levels of severity.

What kinds of crises occur in people’s lives?

High level crisis situations: suicidal thoughts, plans and/or attempts; abuse of children, sexual or physical abuse, rape, domestic violence, threats to harm others, threats from others, etc.

The following situations or personal conditions can cause a Moderate to High level crisis: loss of loved one, job loss, divorce, eating disorders, addictions, physical illness/disability. Issues with depression, finances, anxiety, phobias, panic attacks, rage, change in job, residence, marriage, the law, divorce, etc.

How to respond to and refer someone in  a crisis: Explore with further questions such as:

When someone expresses signs of depression, feelings of hopelessness or helpnessness you can ask: “How long have you felt this way?”

“Have you thought about harming yourself?”

“Have you ever tried to take your life?”

“Do you have a plan to end your life?”

“What keeps you from running away or giving up on life?”

Be empathic and validate their emotional distress…. “I can see that this is difficult for you to deal with,” “you seem to be feeling fearful, anxious, angry, hopeless, depressed, stressed out, overwhelmed.”

If someone is considering suicide, ask them to commit to taking the following steps:

• call a hotline (1 800 NEW LIFE in the USA; for Canada: 800-661-9800)
• call a friend
• make a contract that he or she will not harm him/herself for one week.
• if they have a plan or are actually in the process of harming themselves, go immediately to the nearest hospital emergency room or mental health center.
• keep this link on hand to refer anyone to who is making suicidal threats: http://www.womentodaymagazine.com/fitnesshealth/suicide.html

Then, pray with the person either by email or in the chat room. Pray the the Lord Jesus Christ will give them victory over these suicidal, self-destructive thoughts. Pray that God would intervene, give them hope and help them to understand how much God loves them. Quote scriptures such as John 10:10 when Jesus said, “I have come to give you life and give it more abundantly.”

If the person gives you a phone number, you can call them and talk with them. You may even be able to ask them if you can talk with someone in the house. Then, you can get that person to help intervene. Follow the guidelines above and get that person to agree to get professional or medical help immediately.

Other Referrals:
Directory of Counselors in the USA